I need to put some pictures from the hospital on here but I don't have them on this computer so I will have to do that later on...
Cooper was born at 3:01 p.m. on a Friday afternoon, he was healthy and looking good so we were able to take him home Sunday. He did have jaundice so we were told to take him to get his levels checked on Monday. I had been nursing him but my milk was taking what seemed like forever to come in, so he was losing weight. He was born at 7lbs 4 oz and within a few days was down to 6lbs 10 oz. On Monday we took him to get his levels checked and for a weight check. The lactation specialist was a little concerned because he had lost almost 10% of his body weight, so we were trying to figure out what we should do. It was so stressful to watch him and know he wasn't getting what he needed. I rented a pump and started using it to help my milk come in and increase my supply, and we did give him some formula to try to get his weight up a bit. Finally around day 5 or 6 I could tell my milk was finally coming in, and by then his jaundice levels were much better. He started gaining weight which relieved everyone. My mom was in town so she helped out a lot, she cooked a ton and helped me with breastfeeding, which I really struggled with. From the beginning Cooper was not a good nurser. He fell asleep constantly so he never got full and that made him want to nurse all the time. He had his nights and days mixed up, which happens to newborns a lot, so we didn't get much sleep. From the first night we had him I had a lot of anxiety and stress, I was worried and hormonally crazy and everything. The first night I didn't sleep, not one minute, I just couldn't. I had adrenaline going so by the time the next day came around I didn't feel too awful. The second night we were still in the hospital, for some reason I really hated the hospital bed so Scott slept there and I slept on the couch. I slept maybe 2 or 3 hours. It was enough to keep me going. The third night we were home and I probably 3 or 4 hours, I just had the hardest time sleeping, and he was up a lot too especially at night. I can't really remember how much sleep I got after that, just that eventually I crashed. But I was never able to nap and still to this day can't nap during the day, I don't know why I just can't. Talk about being in a hard situation, so I really relied on my night sleep to get me through. People just couldn't understand why I couldn't nap, I can't really explain it but I just know that I really can't. I hope I will be able to again soon, weird I know. So the first few weeks were mainly just getting the hang of breastfeeding him and making sure his weight was going up. After my mom left Scott mom Sherry came to stay with us, we were very lucky to have so much help. She was really great because she would take Cooper with Scott and I would go to sleep around 8 for a few hours, and it made a big difference, By then we were starting to struggle with getting him enough to eat. Looking back his reflux definitely contributed to him being fussy during and after feedings, but we thought he was just hungry all the time. From about weeks 5 to ten I really struggled with figuring out what I wanted to do. Every day I went from wanting to continue to try to breastfeed and wanting to give up. We would try as formula and it wouldn't work, we even had to take him to the hospital once because he screamed for hours and it ended up being the formula. I went back and forth for a while, finally we found Gerber Soy to be a formula that he could handle. At first I was giving him a bottle or two or formula a day, just to supplement. After about three months I found what worked best for me, which was to pump and then give him bottle with formula and breast milk mixed. We also switched to Dr. Brown's bottles and put gas drops in every bottle. His reflux medicine seemed to be helping but he was still a pretty fussy baby in general. He gained weight really well because he was eating a lot, but I think a lot of it was comfort eating because of the reflux. He was also a bad sleeper and napper, overall the first three months are a blur which is why this post may seem all over the place. I guess I should have made more of an effort to write down my thoughts. Overall the first three months were very hard in general but he was healthy and pretty happy so I just held on to people telling me it would get easier.
As far as my recovery went, I lost about 20 lbs the first 2 months but have struggled to lose the rest, it is much harder than I thought it would be. I healed up fairly well, it also took a lot longer than I thought I would. My hormones and emotions were definitely all over the place, but that was mostly due to sleep deprivation and a fussy baby. Scott was really great, he would take the night shift from about 9-12 every night so I could sleep, even though he also had homework to do. We made it through and survived the first 3 months!
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