Big Surprise

Once again it has been a long while since my last post, what can I say...I am not really a blogger I guess. A few things have happened since last time:
-Scott had his 26th Birthday, which I hardly took any pictures of at all
-We went to California to help Scott's Grandparent's move-it was fun and soooo pretty there!
-We went to Texas for my brother Reed's wedding, he married Scott's cousin Diana...weird huh??
-shortly after the wedding we found out we are expecting a little one in January!
-For the 4th we went up to Park City and spent a few days with Scott's family, which is always fun, unfortunatley they canceled the fireworks because of all the fires....sad.

So we have been busy over the last few months, and kind of in shock about the pregnancy, which was unexpected..but let me explain why-

Scott and I have starting trying over a year ago to get pregnant. After a cpl months I went to the doctor to try to figure out if anything was up with me, because there usually is. I should have had bloodwork and some tests done right away, but I was...stupid. I thought I just needed a little help, I knew that my cycles were a little messed up, and that my progesterone levels were low..so I just decided to go on clomid to try to help my body. I tried it off and on for a couple months..nothing. I really hated the side effects from it.. then a few months later found out I had a cyst, which I have had before. Anyway after a few more months we had testing done on Scott, something we should have done from the start, we found that Scott had serious fertility problems. I was really heartborken about that, because they told us our chances of conceiving naturally were slim..really slim. They referred us to a fertility specialist clinic, where we went to. There I had testing done and we decided to try a round of medication and an IUI. An IUI is what you can do before you move on to more aggresive treatment, like In-vitro. I went on birth control for two months to get rid of the cyst and prevent any more, and so we could get ready. Then we got the okay and I started the treatment, which was basically a higher dose of clomid, timed with a Hcg shot to trigger ovualtion (which Scott had to give me around 3 in the morning to be timed right!), then the IUI, then after that progesterone medication to help me get and stay pregnant. Did I mention those suppositories are about $4 a piece. Super expensive.. no coverage on any of this at all. We did all that and tried to be optomistic, but found out in February that I was not pregnant. At this point we knew we could either try a few more rounds of IUI, or wait till we could afford invitro. Well I was finished, I really felt like I did not want to try again till we could afford invitro, which would be at least a few years. We were really sad but honestly anyone who has gone through infertility problems knows how hard it is physically and mentally, and on your marriage. So we just decided to wait.
Something I did not mention earlier was that back in December or whenever I had the bloodwork done they found that my thyroid and prolactin levels were elevated, which was contributing or the main factor in my fertility problems. They put me on two meds to help even out my levels.. I had been taking them for a few months.
Well May came around and we went home for my brother's wedding.. and I was suppose to get my period while I was home. I always have it at the worst times.. anyway it never came, every day I thought it would so I just kept waiting..and waiting. I was too nervous to take a pregnancy test,so I waited for a week because I was already scheduled to go to the doctor to go over my recent bloodwork. I had the bloodwork done to see if the two meds I had been taking had helped at all. So I went in and got blood taken to see if I was pregnant, but before that my Doctor went over my bloodwork with me and said my levels were great, and if  I was pregnant this medicine had really helped. I had to wait a few very long hours for them to call me and tell me that yes! I was definently pregnant..I. could. not. believe. it. Scott came to visit me at work a little bit later, and I surprised him with the news, he was so excited.
We still cannot fully accept that this has happened, it is such a surprise, because although my body was doing much better, the fact that we got pregnant with Scott's fertility problems is kind of a miracle. Right when we had sort of accepted and were adjusting to the idea of waiting for a few years, we got pregnant. I still can't believe it.
So that is our story, pretty long but there it is. Nothing has been harder on our marriage than going through this whole process, it was something neither of us anticipated.If I could go back or give any advice I would say if you are having problems the first two things you should do are get a few very important tests done on you and your spouse. I wish we had right way, it would have saved us a year of stress/money/fighting/tears/worry/etc..not to mention the lovely side effects from clomid.
A few weeks ago Scott and I got to see our little one for the first time! The hearbeat was strong and the baby looked good, it was very special for us to see it. Then about a week ago I went back by myself and heard the hearbeat, it was 166 and it was cool to hear it. I am now in my 12th and final week of my first trimester, and to be honest I have not really enjoyed being pregnant.. the nausea, fatigue, mood swings, acne, and other side effects I won't mention have been really hard on my body. Small price to pay for this little miracle growing inside me. I have a lot of reservations about being a mother, and sometimes I panic, but I know the timing was part of the Lord's plan for us, and I am trying to have faith and be happy and excited.
Both sets of parents are super excited and looking forward to having their first grandchild! We will find out if it is a boy or girl sometime in the next 4-6 weeks, I really have no clue.
I have not been very active the last 3 months, I know I need to do better, because I do feel better when I work out. Hopefully over the next few weeks I can get some energy back..we'll see. Right now I am dragging myself to work every day and trying to get through it..one day at a time. I am sure everyone is like that, and I do feel lucky that I am not super sick.
Scott has been very supportive throughout the last few months, and I really do love him so much. I feel like a crazy person a lot now and he kind of just takes it..or tries to anyway lol. This is a new experience for us and I think it will hit us more when I am further along. Right now it is still hard to believe there is a baby in there.
We are slowly telling people that I am pregnant, all our immediate family knows and soon everyone will. I am excited for our Harley boy to be a big brother, he loves little kids and I am sure they will be best friends!
I might start taking monthly pics of my belly as it starts to get bigger, hopefully not too fast though!
So that is our Big Surprise, we will be a family of 3 (4 if you count Harley which we do) in January!! :)

Yeah, it's been a while

I haven't blogged in a while, a long while... I think I just get bored with it because I feel like my life is not all that interesting, and I don't have a lot to blog about that I care to share with the world. But don't get me wrong, I am an interesting person, lol.
I am going to try to do a better job though, because it is nice looking back at events, and it encourages me to take pictures, which I am terrible about doing!
What's new: Nothing, but this week is Scott's Birthday, my lover will be 26 years old! I can't believe it, we started dating when he was a little 21 year old, and so naive..haha. We have been together about 4 years, and it really has gone by quickly, I sure do love him! I will make sure to take pics at his B-day party. I am using some pintrest recipes that I am pretty excited about. Then we are going to see the Hunger Games, YAY! Should be very fun.
This last month has been..not so fun. Scott and I got food poisoning one weekend, it was horrible. At one point we were both just laying on the bathroom floor, it was something I hope to never experience again. Then I got sick, and that lasted a cpl weeks, so basically I just have not been feeling too well. And of course that leads to not working out and eating junk, which in turn has made me feel even worse. Any weight gain in my stomach makes me look pregnant because I am so small on top, it's frustrating!! But now I am back on track and motivated to get in shape for summer.
We have a couple fun events coming up over the next two months. In April we are flying to California to help the Grandparents pack up their house because they are moving to Utah. I am finally going to get to see where they live, and maybe go to San Fransisco or the beach while we are there. It will be great to spend time with them and get a mini vacation.
In May my brother is getting Married! He is actually marrying Scott's cousin...weird I know. But it is great because now our families are connected even more! They are getting married in Texas, so we get to go on another trip and spend time with family. I think this is this first summer Scott and I will get to go home together to Texas since we were married, it should be awesome!
That's what is new with the Titensors!

Inspirational

I love this quote, it is on my desktop at work and I pretty much have it memorized. It is simple yet powerful, and it really speaks to me.

"Some murmur when the sky is clear and wholly bright to view,
If one small speck of dark appear in their great heaven of blue,
But some with thankful love are filled,
if but one streak of light,
one ray of God's good mercy gild the darkness of their night."

I find that I am so much happier when I am focusing on the good bright spots of life, the blessings, the times of joy and happiness, rather than the bad things. It would seem obvious, to focus on the good things, but sometimes it is easy to pick out the dark spots and focus on them. My goal is to try harder to appreciate all the good, and not ask why so much.

Thoughts about the Scale

I read an article today about weighing yourself and how you can tell if you have an unhealthy realtionship with your scale. I have a few thoughts about weighing yourself that I just felt like writing down.
I am a big advocate of weighing yourself every day. Many people aren't, and I can see both sides. For me, I have learned pretty well over the past few years how my body works. It really is science, if you are putting in a certian number of calories and burning a certain amount, you will lose weight. So the reason I think weighing yourself every day is beneficial is because if you wake up in the morning and you have not lost any weight, you will know that you need to adjust your routine. Even if I only lose a fraction of a pound, I know I am on the right track. This is especially good for people who are unsure about the number of calories they need a day to lose or maitain their weight. When I calculate how many calories I need on one of those websites that will calculate it for you, it says around 2,000. I find that so funny, because I do not need that many calories at all. For me, if I ate that many per day I would gain weight. But it took me a while to figure out what I need to maintain and to lose weight. That is why I think weighing yourself daily is a good option.
Scott and I have had some debate over this one, for a while he was weighing himself only once a week. But it did not work very well. If you go a week without weighing yourself and see no improvement, it is such a letdown. But if you do it daily you can see that you need to make changes to see a difference in the next day. The only time I can see where weighing yourself weekly would be good would be if you were the type of person who usually eats the same amount of calories and types of foods every day and has no problem maintaining your weight. I am not like that at all, I will gain weight very quickly if I do not keep track of it reguarly. The article I read says that if you weigh yourself more than once a day, and dread getting on the scale, it is probably not a good thing. So make sure it is something that helps you for the good, and does not make you feel bad about yourself. For me if I see that I have gained weight I do get bummed, but I also get motivated to get back on track.
So try weighing yourself every morning for a week..you might like it.

Summer?

NOOO!! Every year I feel like summer passes me by, and I always regret not spending more time outside. I feel like fall has started way too early this year, hopefully it will warm up again before it cools off for good, I mean c'mon, it's only September! Last night I went to Scott's softball game (granted I did go with semi-wet heair) and it was cold! I was angry that I could not wear short sleeves and be comfortable. I do loovee fall clothes and more of the sweater and boots and things, but I also love the warm sun and being outdoors. So I guess it was kind of a reality check for me that winter will be here before I know it, and I am going to try to spend more time outside. Harley may love having snow on the ground for months but I really donnn'ttt.

Nolan's Farwell

My little brother Nolan just left for the MTC. I, my brother Reed, and Scott were able to be with him up until he was wisked away by eager escorts (missionaries). Those were precious moments that I will treasure forever. It was very hard to say goodbye, which is why they have missionaries waiting to scoop him up the second he sets a foot outside the car door. If we had been able we would have hugged him and cried with him waaayy to long! So even though I was annoyed at the time, I guess it was probably a good thing. As I watched my little brother walk away from us up toward the MTC doors, I had the urge to run after him. Realizing that I won't see him for two years has proven to be heartbreaking, but I am so happy and excited for him. This is going to be one of the most rewarding and lifechanging experiences of his life. I am so proud of him and look forward to his letters and hearing about all his experiences over the next two years!

California :)

Here are some pictures from my Brother-In-Law's wedding in California a few weeks ago. They were married in the San Diego Temple, and the reception was a few hours away. The wedding was on Saturday, and we were also able to go the the beach Friday and Sunday. It was so pretty there and so much fun!

Here we are at the beach in Newport, Erin (Brad's Wife) lives right on the beach so it was really fun to be there. On Sunday we took bikes and rode right along the beach, it was beautiful and really seemed like the ideal lifestyle to me, lol.

I love the Beach!

I also celebrated my 24th Birthday that weekend. It feels so weird to be that old, but at the same time I am happy where I am in my life with my husband and our little family. It is crazy that I moved to Utah when I was 20, I thought I would only be here for a few years, and now look at me! I have been sucked in to the "I'm waiting for my Husband to finish school" life. Not that I am sitting around doing nothing, but I am waiting to get out of Utah.... It has been hard living away from family, but at the same time it really makes me appreciate them even more. Also, my brother Nolan is flying here today, and going into the MTC tomorrow!!!!! I cannot believe that my little brother is all grown up and going to be serving in Buenos Aires for the next two years. I am so proud of him, and will miss him very much. I know he will be immensley blessed for serving the church and spreading the gospel. That's all that is new with my family and myself, I am looking to this next year of my life and all the possibilities in store :)